Self-Care for Mind, Body, Heart, and Soul

What does it mean to care for ourselves in a way that’s truly spiritual? In this episode, Dr. Habīb explores self-care as sacred practice — a way of honoring the holiness of our minds, bodies, hearts, and souls. Drawing from Sufi wisdom, contemplative psychology, and interspiritual insights, he offers practical guidance for nurturing each dimension of our being. From noticing and nurturing our inner life to somatic grounding and heart-centered prayer, this episode is an invitation to return to your true self — with compassion, dignity, and love. 

Transcript

Beyond Names: Spirituality for Anyone and Everyone

YouTube Channel: Beyond Names with Dr. Habib Boerger

YouTube handle: @BeyondNamesPodcast

Episode: 20

Host: Dr. Habib Boerger

Title: Self-Care for Mind, Body, Heart, and Soul

Description: What does it mean to care for ourselves in a way that’s truly spiritual? In this episode, Dr. Habīb explores self-care as sacred practice — a way of honoring the holiness of our minds, bodies, hearts, and souls. Drawing from Sufi wisdom, contemplative psychology, and interspiritual insights, he offers practical guidance for nurturing each dimension of our being. From noticing and nurturing our inner life to somatic grounding and heart-centered prayer, this episode is an invitation to return to your true self — with compassion, dignity, and love.

Transcript:

Dr. Habīb Boerger: Welcome to Beyond Names — I’m Dr. Habib.

This is a space for spiritual seekers and soulful misfits, for the curious and the committed, for those grounded in a tradition and those who aren’t sure what they believe.
 Whether you call the Divine God, Yahweh, Allah, Elohim, Brahman, Great Spirit, Higher Power — or you’re still searching for language that fits — you are welcome here.
 Together, we’ll explore the intersection of spirituality and daily life, the wisdom of many traditions, and the ways we return to our True Selves, to our Source, to the light each of us carry within.
 I’m so glad you’re here.

 Per a listener’s request, this episode will be focusing on self-care and nurturing practices rather than having a conversation partner. 

Shout out to jawadal-nawab1659! Thank you for listening! 

 Next week’s episode, God willing, will continue the topic of self-care with a focus on compassion. 

Our conversation partner next week will be Dr. Frank Rogers Jr, who is the author of multiple books on compassion and Co-Founder and Co-Director of the Center for Engaged Compassion. 

 Let’s begin the topic of self-care with a reminder to constantly Notice and Nurture. 

By Notice I mean compassionate self-witnessing, noticing what is going on with you in your mind, body, heart, and soul. 

What is your mental state? What is your physical state? What is your emotional state? What is your spiritual state?

Living with respect and dignity requires that we pay attention to what we’re feeling, how we’re acting, what we’re saying, and notice when we’re not okay. 

Notice when we’re tired. Notice when we’re grouchy. Notice when we’re not feeling empathetic. Notice when we’re feeling stressed, when we’re feeling overwhelmed. 

And when you notice that you’re not okay, quickly move to self-care. 

Quickly begin settling your mind, grounding your body, soothing your heart, and nourishing your soul. 

To that end, let’s talk about some self-care tips that you can adapt for yourself and your spiritual path. 

Hopefully you’ll find these tips helpful reminders or inspiration for ideas of your own.

Let’s start with the mind.

13th century poet and mystic Jalaluddin Rumi wrote, “You are your thought: The rest of you is bones and fibers. If you think of roses, you are a rose garden; but if you think of thorns, you are fuel for the furnace.”

I like Rumi’s image of the roses because it creates a picture of us taking on the fragrance of what we think about.

Our thoughts are the single greatest influence over our emotions and our actions. 

Our thoughts move our desire. Our desire moves our will. Our will moves our intention. And our intention moves our bodies, i.e., intention moves our actions. 

And the source of most of our thoughts is the human ego. 

With that in mind, I recommend three overarching things regarding our thoughts. 

First, identify the source of the thought. 

Is the source of the thought higher or lower? Ego-self? Lower desires? A dark influence? Or divine inspiration?

Second, respond accordingly to the source. 

If it’s divine inspiration, follow through on it.

If its source is lower rather than higher, then take appropriate action. 

And remember, a thought is just a thought. You do not have to believe it.

That said, a crucial part of self-care is being responsible for how we respond to our thoughts.

You might find it helpful to not think of thoughts as good or bad but to think of them as either nourishing thoughts or thoughts that create a state of suffering – thoughts that either lead you toward your ultimate goal or distract you from it.

Here are a few of the ways I respond to thoughts when the source is lower rather than higher. Some of these are specific to my tradition, but you can easily adapt them to what works for you.

·         I imagine placing the lower thought at the foot of the throne of God, metaphorically speaking of course. 

If the thought is especially sticky, if it really want to hang around and I’m having a hard time letting it go, I’ll follow this visualization of putting it at the foot of God with saying “Allah” three times, which is quite effective in discharging it. 

·         Another option is to visualize pushing the thought out of the body, down through the earth, and burning up in the heat of the earth’s core. 

Then visualize divine light pouring over you and filling your heart.

·         Muslims and Sufis often verbalize the intention to discharge lower thoughts by saying “Bismillah” (in the Name of God) or A’ūdḥu Bi-Llāhi Mina-Sh-Shayṭān Ir-Rajīm Bismi-Llah Ir-Raḥman Ir-Raḥīm (I take refuge with God from the devil in the Name of God, the Mercy Full, the Mercy Bestowing).

·         I especially like reciting ‘A’ūdḥu Bi-Llāhi as-Samī‘u Al-‘Alīmu Mina-Sh-Shayṭān Ir-Rajīm Bismi-Llah Ir-Raḥman Ir-Raḥīm (I take refuge with the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing from the devil in the Name of God, the Mercy Full, the Mercy Bestowing) followed by reciting Surah al-Ḥashr, Chapter 59 of the Qur’an, verses 21–24. 

·         I also find it helpful to visualize placing myself in the station of Abrahim, peace be upon him. 

The station of Abrahim is known as the station of safety and security. It is located in front of the entryway of the Kaaba, and it marks the stone where Abrahim stood when building the Kaaba and when calling the people to perform Hajj. 

·         You could also respond to a lower thought by telling yourself, “Leave it. Say, Allah.” And then follow that up by saying “Allah” three times. (My spiritual guide gave this instruction when we were caught in thoughts about our past.)

·         You could take more of a Buddhist approach to thoughts, gently letting them go with nonjudgment, with compassion, as you return your attention to your desired focus. You simply notice that your focus has shifted, or drifted, or you’ve become distracted, and then you simply return, again and again, to present-moment awareness, your breath, a mantra, a candle, whatever your focus is.

·         You can simply note the thought as something other than what you want, other than your true self, other than sacred, by saying “Other” and then place your hand on your heart as a reminder of your innate goodness. So when you have a thought that you think of as lower, “other,” and then hand on heart to remember who you are in your truth, your True Self. 

And this also be helpful if you place your hand on you heart habitually, every time you notice yourself manifesting your Higher Self, when you notice behaving with the attributes of mercy, compassion, love, kindness, truth, justice, etc., as a way of positively reinforcing heartfulness.

·         You can also take an exploratory approach, somewhat like the Internal Family Systems therapy model regarding our internal parts, exploring whether the thought seems to reside somewhere in your body, whether it is a character or has an image or a color or an emotion or some other sensation or internal movement associated with it. If you sit with it, and inquire, what information does it have for you, as if you’re engaging it in dialogue? What is its intention? 

Then bring compassionate understanding and love to that. 

·         Similarly, you can explore the source of the thought, trying to identify the root of it within yourself, and take action to bring healing and purification and strengthening to that part through the healing modalities of your tradition.

Hopefully that list illustrates that you have a lot of options. 

I encourage you, of course, to follow your own inner discernment and trust your own inner wisdom about wha’t right for you, whether it’s right for you to neutrally release a thought without giving it any more attention, with compassionate non-judgment, neutral observation; or whether it’s right for you to visualize handing the thought over to The Divine; or whether it’s right for you to sit with it and engage a practice to wash and purify that part of yourself and set the intention to receive love and light in that place. 

Again, as works for you, keeping in mind that it may be different from case to case, thought to thought. 

Regardless of which method you choose, strive to make a habit of responding to your thoughts with a compassionate sense of self-responsibility and loving sense of self-management in all the circumstances of your life, whether you’re in a difficult work meeting or talking to a loved one.

Okay. The third overarching suggestion in relation to your thoughts is to purposely cultivate thoughts of compassion and love, focus your attention on goodness, focus on moments of calm, connection, and loving bonds with others.

We know from research in the field of neuroscience that we can affect our biochemistry, we can even affect the structure, the wiring, of our brains if we continually reorient ourselves to experiences of mercy, love, kindness, calm, connection, peace, and so on.

·         To help with this aspect of self-care, I highly encourage you to keep a self-care journal, and that in your journal, you:

o   List and write out favorite life-moments of fun, joy, happiness, peace – the moments in your life that were most meaningful to you -- favorite life-moments where you felt energized, where you felt you had a settled mind, grounded body, and full heart; you felt a sense of meaning, purpose, and contentment. 

o   You might also list your favorite healing modalities.

o   List your favorite rewards – means of caring for and bringing enjoyment to your body, mind, heart, and soul.

When you keep a self-care journal with these lists, then you have a place to go when you’re struggling. You can open your journal and choose something from your lists, so you’re not starting from ground zero. You already have a set of resources that’s available to you. Just open your page, go to one of your lists, choose something from a list as a starting point.

·         Others ideas -- Listening to 40hz sound therapy is a good way to care for your mind.

·         Also, our minds need rest too, so remember to take breaks. Even if it’s just a three-minute break to pause and appreciate some beauty. 

·         And of course, if you are struggling with persistent sadness or anxiety, if you’re struggling to cope with your circumstances, if you’re struggling with substance abuse or other forms of addiction, if you’re having thoughts of self-harm or thoughts of harming others, please do seek the help of a mental health professional.

Let’s pause here. Take a deep breath. And just check in with how you’re feeling in your body. What stands out to you from this section on self-care for our minds?

You might want to press pause and take some time to reflect on how these ideas might apply to your life before moving on.

Now let’s transition to self-care for our bodies.

A couple of reminders to help us be in right relationship with our bodies –

The human being is holy. 

I know it goes without being said, but sometimes we need this reminder.

Our bodies are holy garments, holy vessels for our souls. 

We must preserve life and treat our bodies well as it is our physical bodies of water and clay that house the light of our origin. 

The body is important to bring the mind and heart together, especially in mind cultures. 

We need the body to really drink in light, the divine light, in every cell.

For someone dealing with chronic health challenges or serious illness, please note that your highest priority may very well need to be caring for your health.

Our bodies have rights over us. Our bodies have the right to be free from harm, the right to care and sustenance, the right to dignity, the right to autonomy.

There are some thing we know, generally speaking.

We all know to eat clean, unprocessed food. 

We know the benefits of exercising regularly 

We may or may not have been taught to use moderation in our food intake.

In my Sufi order, we’re taught that limiting how much we eat and drink has both physical and spiritual benefits.

It’s also important to keep in mind that most spiritual downfall comes because of the lower appetites, by which I mean sexual desires and the desires of the stomach.

Here are some possibilities for your self-care body practices:

·         Remember to guard your limbs, guard your eyes, etc. In other words, be constantly watchful of your physical actions and the intention behind them.

·         Limit your intake of food and drink so your stomach’s contents are 1/3 food, 1/3 water, and 1/3 air.

·         Bring worldly desires together with love for that which you hold as most sacred. When you desire to indulge bodily desires, focus your awareness on the love of God with the intention to elevate your physical desire to spiritual desire. 

·         When you find yourself activated, engage in somatic practices to help you ground your body.

o   Relax your eyes and lengthen your exhale. Simply lengthening your exhale can help you calm down your nervous system.

o   Look at the date and time and use your senses to orient yourself to the present moment. What do you see? What is behind you? What do you smell? What do you hear? What do you feel?

o   Other tips from Peter Levine, the developer of Somatic Experiencing are to:

§  Take your right hand and place it under your left arm, cradling your heart; and take your left hand and put it on your right bicep, shoulder, or elbow. Just hang out in this position, as if you’re holding your heart. It’s like you’re giving yourself a hug, wrapping yourself up, and just breathe until you feel grounded, you begin to feel your energy shift.

§  Another is to put one hand on your forehead and one on your upper chest for a few moments, again, until you feel an energy shift, and then when you do begin to fell a shift, a grounding/opening/lightening, then take the hand that’s on your forehead and place it on your belly, and just stay in that position with one hand on the chest area, one on the belly and just breathe until you feel the energy shift, to feel yourself grounding and relaxing.

§  Another option is to simply take the palms of your hands to and tap your skin with the palms of your open hands.

§  Another is to squeeze your muscles with your hands.

These are all ways of helping you ground your body when you’re feeling activated.

o   Somatic practitioner Resmaa Menakem, author of My Grandmother’s Hands and The Quaking of America, recommends using a balance bird. 

You can easily find them online. They range from inexpensive plastic ones to more expensive steel or wood ones. 

When I first got a balance bird, I thought of a verse in the Qur’an that talks about seeing birds in the sky and knowing that nothing holds them up but the Universally Merciful (Qur’an 67:19). 

So, I came up with my own way of doing the practice. I hold the balance bird on my right index finger, and then I root the ball of my left foot into the earth, and then slowly rotate counterclockwise around it while holding the bird and repeating, “Have they not seen the birds above them…? Nothing holds them up but the Universally Merciful.” Again, “Have they not seen the birds above them…? Nothing holds them up but the Universally Merciful.”

With all of these practices, you can come up with your own version of them given your own uniqueness and, of course, your own tradition.

·         It goes without saying but lots of us don’t do it – it’s important to take rest when you need it. It’s important to get enough sleep. To take breaks. To take naps. Take days off. Again, listen to your body and honor you body’s need for rest.

·         Also, Take baths. Take spa days. Get massage or acupuncture. Give yourself some aromatherapy. Lots of options.

·         Move however you can – whether that’s going for a walk, dance, yoga, martial arts, Tai Chi, Qigong, mudras.... 

And if you can, combine your movement and breath with remembrance of the sacred.

·         Give hugs.

·         In your self-care journal, list what grounds your body and helps you switch from sympathetic to parasympathetic nervous system so have a list of what works for you when you need it.

Let’s pause here. Again, take a deep breath. What stands out to you from this section on self-care for our bodies?

You might want to press pause and take some time to reflect on how these ideas might apply to your life before moving on.

Okay. Now for the heart.

Let’s address the emotional heart as well as the energetic or spiritual heart.

We’ve already touched on the connection between our thoughts and our emotions. 

Just as with the mind and body, with the heart and nourishing our heart and soothing our hearts, we need compassionate self-witnessing so we can notice when we’re not okay and give ourselves the care we need.

·         My first suggestion in relation to self-care for our hearts is to habituate ongoing awareness of your emotions, the needs that underly them, and turning to Source with those feelings and needs. 

For example, you may feel angry because your need for appreciation is unmet or you may feel irritable because your need for respect is not being met. Or you may be feeling anxious because your need for safety is not being met. 

Step 1 is to identify what you’re feeling. 

Step 2 is to identify the underlying need. 

Step 3 is to talk to God about your feelings and needs. Turn your heart wholeheartedly toward the Divine and wait in your heart for comfort from the Divine. Pour your heart out to God, and then rest in silence, knowing that God loves you just as you are, strengths and weaknesses, mistakes, dark parts as well as light parts, and wants only goodness for you. 

For some of us, especially those who experienced significant childhood trauma, we may need to practice recognizing what we feel and need. I used to carry, there’s no shame in this, I used to carry around a feelings list and needs list to help me understand my own experience. You can, just as an FYI, access a free Feelings and Needs Inventory form the website for The Center for Nonviolent Communication. One second and I’ll share that. Here it is. It’s https://www.cnvc.org/store/feelings-and-needs-inventory. You probably could just go to cnvc.org, again, that's the Center for Nonviolent Communication, and do a search for Feelings and Needs Inventory to access that. A great resource.

·         A practice to discharge emotional stagnation – sometimes the energy of emotions gets stuck and we need to pull it out of ourselves. One way to do that is to say “Gatherrrrr” (growling on the rrrr) while gathering up all that you’re feeling, clenching your fists in front of you, pull all that emotional energy up and out as you raise your fists to the sky, rotate your fists forward, bend forward, open hands, and push that energy into the floor, down into the earth. Again, visualize sending it down deep into the earth while saying “Release.” So it’s Gatherrr, and release. And push it down into the earth and release it, push it into the earth and let it go. That’s Gather-Release for the stagnation of emotional energy.

·         A practice to foster equanimity when you’re struggling with our emotional response to life’s ups and down is to say “constriction” while making fists with your hands and pressing your fists together in front of your chest, “expansion” while opening your hands and arms and stretching them out wide to your sides, and “returning to the still center” while placing your open hands, one on top of the other, flat on your chest/heart area. Constriction, expansion, returning to the still center. Constriction, expansion, returning to the still center.

o   If you would like to pair this practice with Divine Names, you might try reciting Ya-Qābiḍ (The One Who Contracts), Ya Bāṣiṭ (The One Who Expands), Ya Kāfīy (The Sufficient) or Ya-Qābiḍ (The One Who Contracts), Ya Bāṣiṭ (The One Who Expands), Ya Wāsi’ (The All-Embracing, All-Reaching) with the associated movement.

You can use this movement to help you embrace the natural flow of yin and yang, constriction and expansion in life.

·         Another practice to foster equanimity when we’re struggling with our emotional response to life’s ups and downs -- First set the intention to patiently accept and to say yes to what’s happening. You can say aloud “lowering” while bending low, “elevating” while rising, and then “receiving love and light” while lifting and widening your arms to the heavens, imagining you’re like a big satellite dish or a funnel, letting it all come into your heart and saturate your being, or you can return to the still center like with the previous practice and your hands on the chest. This is something you can do with just the English words lowering, elevating, receiving, or you can pair with recitation of Divine Names, repeat Ya Khāfiḍ (The One Who Humbles) Ya Rafi’ (The One Who Elevates) Ya Muqsit (The Equitable). 

·         You can nurture your heart by giving heartful attention to the growth of your relationships, whether that’s conscious parenting, caregiving, or giving special care to your loving marriage or partnership.

·         You should also make time for lightheartedness, laughter, joy, and play as a way to care for you heart.

·         You can care for your heart by making your home and workspace beautiful.

·         By tending to plants, whether houseplants or a community garden.

·         By asking for help when you need it, asking for support when you need it.

·         By bringing heartfulness to all your actions, especially actions to nurture and care for yourself, actions to nurture and care for others; actions to nurture and care for others might look like mentoring, or social justice and activism, or other forms of giving and service.

·         Remind yourself to find your own balance between inner exploration and outer engagement, between time alone and time in community, between work and play, between caring for and giving to yourself, between caring for and giving to others.

·         Also, spend time in nature.

·         Listen to chants, hymns, recitation of sacred text, or other music that feeds your heart.

·         In your self-care journal, list what soothes your heart and turns your heart to Source.

Let’s pause here. Take a deep breath. What stands out to you from this section on self-care for our hearts?

You may want to press pause and take some time to reflect on how these ideas might apply to your life before move to the soul.

Regarding care of the soul, let’s begin with the 5 Rs of spiritual development I’ve mentioned in previous episodes: 1) Remembering, 2) Reading, 3) Reflecting, 4) Receiving, and 5) Returning. 

1) Remembering

Remembering refers to remembrance of that which you hold as most sacred. 

For the Muslim and the Sufi, that’s remembering Allah [in accordance with Qur’an, al-Ra‘d 13:28]. 

For the Christian, that’s remembering God, Elaha/Alaha (Elaha/Alaha is the name of God in Aramaic, the language most religious scholars agree Jesus spoke).

For someone who is Jewish, that’s remember Elohim, Adonai. 

For the Buddhist, that’s remembering one’s Buddha-nature [perhaps with the Heart Sutra mantra or the “I take refuge in the Buddha” mantra]. 

For the Spiritual But Not Religious (SBNR), it’s remembering the Higher Self, the True Self, Source, Universal Reality, Great Mystery, Higher Power, Ultimate Reality, and so on. 

There are many ways to engage in remembrance. 

Please go to my about page for an example of how to do the remembrance practice with either a verbalization or a visualization, https://www.habibboerger.com/about. I’ll do a quick screen share on that. Again, it’s https://www.habibboerger.com/about. And you’ll see there’s a video, and you can watch the video or listen to the audio, whichever you prefer, for an example of the remembrance practice with either vocalization or visualization as fits you and your own path.

One of the foremost ways is to keep the tongue busy with repeating a Divine Name, such as God, Allah, Elaha, and so on, while also holding the name, visualizing the Name you are using in your heart. 

Another way is to do a silent heart meditation, visualizing the Name written in your heart, or to visualize it written in front of your heart.

My go to, home base spiritual practice is remembrance of the breath with the phrase lā ilaha illa-llāh, which is a phrase expressing that the multiplicity of this world serves the purpose of bringing us to Oneness – a phrase conveying that the things of this dense lower world of materiality are in fact illusory while there is One Ultimate Reality. The phrase is translated there is no god but God.

I exhale while silently repeating lā ilaha and inhale while silently repeating illa-llāh, only God, visualizing other than God draining out my left little toe deep into the earth on the exhale and visualizing the light of God imbuing every atom, cell and molecule on the inhale.

A non-religious person might pair a word like emptying with the exhale and awakening or filling on the inhale or simply use the “ahhh” sound on the exhale. (The vibrational energy of the “ahhh” sound brings love and light to the heart). 

A Christian way to practice remembrance of the breath to pray without ceasing (as in 1 Thessalonians 5:17) is to use the name of God in Aramaic, Alaha. Inhale while repeating “Ala-”, pressing or inhaling Ala- into the heart, and to exhale while saying “-ha.” Ala- -ha.

The key is to pair the Divine Name, word or phrase with your exhale and inhale so your remembrance of that which you hold as most sacred is brought together with your breath and thereby becomes your staff of life, so to speak.

2) Reading

Reading means to look at ourselves, each other, and the world around us as signs and messages from the Divine. Reading also means to read the Scrolls as revealed to Abraham, the Torah as revealed to Moses, the Psalms as revealed to David, the Gospel as revealed to Jesus, the Qur’an as revealed to Muhammad, may God’s blessings and peace be upon them all. 

Reading relates to the book of nature, and the written work of your spiritual teachers in accordance with your tradition or no tradition. 

3) Reflecting

Reflecting relates to observing and reasoning -- looking at ourselves, each other, and our world and thinking about what we see and experience and reflecting on it to increase our understanding and conscious insight.

4) Receiving

Receiving relates to the openness of our hearts and minds to receive Divine Love and Light and to let go of everything other than the Divine -- so we can help others do the same, so we can help grow the light of the world. 

5) Returning

Returning relates to always returning to God and to be in remembrance of God and in alignment with God -- to return to our state in pre-eternity of oneness with the One Love. 

For the nontheist, it relates to our return to our True Self and to unitive Love. 

Returning relates to remaining constantly watchful of the turning of our hearts and striving for steadfastness in our heart’s turning to God.

In my tradition, the primary practice for this returning is called tawba, repeating Astaghfiru-llāh al-aḍhim wa atūbu ʿilayh (I seek forgiveness of Allah), in repentance for making a mistake and with the intention to turn back to God with a sincere desire not to repeat the mistake.

Okay. Let’s move on to other ways to care for our souls. 

Prayer in its various forms, with the rosary or other kind of prayer beads, without prayer beads, prayer circles, contemplative prayer, prayer flags, prayer wheels, and so on. 

Litanies – one of my favorites is the Hizbu-l-Bahr, the Orison of the Sea, from Shaykh Ali Abu-l-Hasan ash-Sadhdhuli.

Chanting, either with silent mantras or with vocalized mantrams, with Divine Names, alone, in groups, with drumming, without drumming. 

Affirmations. Affirmations can be very helpful.

Hymns or other songs expressing and celebrating your beliefs. 

Embodied forms of worship, like the ritual prayer in Islam, or the ritual movements of a Catholic mass. 

Breathwork. 

Meditation in its various forms, whether that’s meditating on an icon, mindfulness meditation, focused meditation, transcendental meditation, mantra meditation, loving-kindness meditation....

Sacred rituals, whether that’s receiving blessings in temples, or performing rituals at the altar, or rituals associated with the rising sun or the changing of the seasons. 

Carrying amulets or placing amulets in special locations.

Carrying Milagros or place them on shrines. [religious symbols/charms, often attached to altars, shrines, or sacred objects in Mexico, southern U.S., Latin America]

Using our outer appearance to signify and remind ourselves of our inner intention, such as in wearing yarmulkes (the Jewish skullcap), mitras (the headwear for bishops, cardinals, abbots….), wearing veils, turbans, prayer shawls, clothes designed to maintain modesty – or growing a beard as a visual reminder that the aim of your life is your True Self, to know and serve God, and so on.

Other acts of worship, like fasting from food and water and everything that distracts us from a focus on God.

Using a mindfulness bell as an auditory reminder to be in the present moment and in remembrance of that which you hold as most sacred.

You can go on pilgrimage or visit sacred sites, holy sites.

We can set a place apart in our homes and communities as designated sacred space.

Reciting liturgies. 

Reading, studying, reciting the sacred texts of our traditions.

Spending time in silence and solitude to the extent that you can, whether a few minutes every day or all-night retreats, weekend retreats, 10-day retreats, or 40-day retreats, as fits your case, but spending time in silence and solitude for contemplation to focus on worship alone. 

We can look and practice looking for the image of the Divine in ourselves and others.

We can journal, as I’ve already recommended, whether that’s writing gratitude pages or fostering creative expression with writing morning pages.

We can also live by a set program or routine. In Christianity, this is called a Rule of Life, such as the Roman Catholic Prayer of the Hours (also called the Divine Office or the Daily Office).

Just as an example, here’s what a Rule of Life looks like in my tradition as an example. Take from it what resonates with you for your own soul care.

Because waking up is thought of as a rehearsal for answering the questions posed by the angels at the time of our death, the first thing we do upon waking is attest to what we believe. 

Then as we get out of bed, say, “praise God,” offer gratitude that your life has been returned to you after the temporary death of sleep, and ask God for the good of the day and whatever follows it.

In my tradition every aspect of going to the bathroom is prescribed -- what foot you step into the bathroom with, what order you undress and redress, what hand you use, how you wash, and performing the ritualized ablution, which is a formalized process to return to what’s called the ritual state of purification. 

If your tradition doesn’t have a formalized ablution process, you might put your hands under some running water and visualize offering up your mind, body, heart, and soul, to be washed of impurities. 

Or you offer something like a Buddhist offering – 

May my heart be open and spacious and kind and generous. 

May my body be healthy and strong. 

May my mind be pure. 

But bringing a ritual and intention to activities of daily living.

The ablution in my order is followed by the morning prayer -- the first of the 5 obligatory ritual prayers of the day. 

There are also extra prayers and there are extra recitations and there are sayings around the benefit of doing the extra prayers and recitations. 

The morning prayer is preceded by extra prayers. 

Then the obligatory prayer, and then after-prayer recitations, which is followed by offering praise. In my tradition, saying SubhanAllah, Alhamdulillah, Allahu Akbar, saying Glory to God, Praise to God, God is greatest. 

And then making extra prayers. 

After the morning prayer and after-prayer recitations is Qur’an recitation. 

In my community, we recite Surah Ya Seen, Chapter 36, which is known as the heart of the Qur’an, every morning. 

Qur’an recitation is followed by reciting the 99 Divine names at least once -- God the Merciful, the Compassionate, the Sovereign, the Just, and so on.

Then a litany -- the Salat al-Mashishiyya, a prayer from Sidi Abdes-Salam ibn Mashish for opening the soul and spiritual union with God. 

Followed by a liturgy called al-Wird (wird is the Arabic word for watering hole, where you come to be replenished, to be nourished, to be filled up). 

The Wird is a 4-part chanting practice – four different phrases that are said 100 times each – to move you through the ontological categories of being, from the physical world to the suprasensible realm, to the realm of divine Unity.

[The Four Ontological Categories: 1) lāhūt (the plane of Divine unity): the realm of God’s Essence, the plane of non-manifestation, 2) jabarūt (the plane of Divine compelling): the realm of the Divine manifesting as Lord; the plane of God’s actions (everything that exists are God’s acts), 3) malakūt (the suprasensible plane): the realm of symbolic forms, images, imagination, thoughts, dreams, 4) nāsūt (human plane): the physical world; the realm of the senses]

If you’re retired, you might want to take rest since you got up early for morning prayer. 

If you rest, you do so while listening to Surah Baqarah, Chapter 2 of the Qur’an. 

If you get up and get ready for work, then you move from the formalized practices to getting ready with the intention to sacralize every activity –

Primarily by following the prophetic example in how you dress, how you enter a room, what you eat, how you eat, what you drink, how you drink, how you perform all the activities of daily living, including saying “In the Name of God” (Bismillah) every time you initiate an activity. 

Say we go to the kitchen for breakfast. We’re trying to monitor our thoughts, the source of the thoughts, as well the turning of the heart, trying to remain conscious of God. 

If I’m wiping the counter, or loading the dishwasher, or rinsing a dish, I’ll wipe or rinse in a circular motion as if I was circumambulating the Kaaba, the Holy House of God in Mecca. 

In other words, connect everyday activities with sacred moments and spiritual intentions. 

As you start your workday and begin interacting with people outside of your household – striving to maintain remembrance of God in the face of the thoughts and the feelings and the interactions and all your activities. 

You might visualize the name of God written in the eyes or the heart of others. 

You might visualize light connecting you to another person. 

You might visualize light emanating from your heart. 

Striving to integrate turning to God with what you’re thinking, feeling, needing -- taking that experience to God, being in the remembrance of God all the time, and being in dialogue, in conversation with God as you move through your day.

You might repeat Divine Names to yourself, or specific phrases from the Qur’an, or blessings on the prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, and so on.

Again, this is in effort to be in remembrance and to pray unceasingly, and that can look many different ways in many different traditions. 

For example, in my life, I might say, Ya Fattah Ya Wadude Ya Rahim (The Opener, The Loving, The Merciful) silently to myself if I’m needing to ask God for help me open to God’s Love and Mercy.

Maybe I’m feeling discouraged and need to increase a sense of trusting in God. I might say, Ya Wakil Ya Kareem (O The Trustee, O Most Generous) – 

Or a phrase that has to do with being sufficed by God: hasbuna-llahu wa ni’ma-l wakeel -- God is sufficient for us and He is the best disposer of our affairs).

Maybe you need a reminder that God is in truth, kind and generous and your Trustee: Ya Haqq Ya Wakeel Ya Rauf Ya Kareem – O Truth, the Trustee, the Kind, the Generous.

Or perhaps you're just feeling stuck, so you offer recitations for moving from your spiritual station to the next spiritual station.

[Dhikr of the Seven Stations: 1. lā ilaha illa-llāh (there is no god but God), 2. Allah (The God), 3. Hū (He), 4. ya Haqq (the Real), 5. Hayy (One Who possesses life and over whom death holds no sway), 6. Al-Qayyūm (the Sustainer), 7. Al-Qahhār (O Compeller)]

Other ideas, other examples --

[Maybe you need to soften your heart, creating a bridge between the seen and the unseen, so you use a mantram that is specifically for bridging the unseen and the seen, SubhanAllahi wa biHamdihi, Subhan-Allahi 'l-`adheem (Glory be to God, and Praise be to God, the Supreme).]

You might be feeling the need, you’re struggling with receptivity, so you feel like you need to call upon Divine Light. You might recite Allah Nur (which is calling on God as the Source of Light) or Nuran Allah Nur (Light above light, or Light upon light).

And so on. 

The idea is to use a form of remembrance that matches what you encounter during the day to help you you’re your daily experience to the Divine, helps you take your thoughts and your feelings and your needs to the Divine regardless of where you are – whether you're sitting at your computer or in a meeting. And doing what you need to orient you body and your mind and your heart and your soul to the Divine and to the sacred. You might listen to the Qur’an if you can, you might be in silent remembrance if you’re in a meeting, and so on.

Lunch break, you’re going to want to coordinate your lunchtime with the noon prayer. 

Perhaps at that time you make time to read books from your spiritual teachers and copy down some of the teachings from them because there’s a connection between what we do with our hands and our brains [and our hearts].

For your afternoon break, you want to coordinate it with the afternoon prayer.

When you get off work, whether while you are driving, taking the subway, changing clothes, going for a walk or exercise, your evening meal -- again try to imbue everything with remembrance of the Divine.

Then it’s time for the evening prayer, the extra prayers that follow the evening prayer. In my Sufi order, that’s followed by reciting Surah al-Waqia (Chapter 56) and Surah Al-Mulk (Chapter 67) of the Qur’an.

Then, take for example, I want to watch my favorite TV show. You do your best to keep remembrance of the breath continuing without interruption with the intention to not be distracted from God for a moment, while you’re watching TV too.

Then it's time for the fifth prayer of the day, the late evening or night prayer, which, like all the five obligatory prayers, is followed by after-prayer recitations.

In my order, it is to be followed by the wird – the same four-part chanting practice from the morning.

Then, it's time to go to sleep, again offering prayers somewhat akin to those said for waking.

That brings us to nighttime. Nighttime is often a time for extra prayers, prayers of protection, prayers for forgiveness. 

It is prescribed to get up in the last third of the night, redo your ablution, and do extra rounds of prayer. 

After your extra rounds of prayer, then sit for an hour of dedicated silent remembrance without interruption. 

So, that’s what you’d do if you were following the rule of life from my Sufi order. 

If you were a Christian monk following the Rule of St. Benedict, for example, you would engage in lectio divina, you would engage in praying the scripture, for three hours a day.

So, we can’t all be monks. Some of us are parents of young children. Some of us have multiple jobs and we have to have multiple jobs to make ends meet.

Of course, our Rule of Life is informed by our tradition and our life circumstances. 

Okay. Other soul care tips -- 

·         Seek beneficial knowledge, whether that’s studying on your own, or studying and connecting with teachers who have some experience and expertise in spiritual walking. 

·         Meet regularly with a spiritual director.

·         Get a healing, by which I mean, explore spiritual healing with someone who is reputable, proven, trustworthy.

·         I know I’ve said self-care journal, but I’ll make one more plug for the self-care journal.

o   List and write out favorite inspiring and comforting passages in sacred texts, texts that really feel your heart and soul.

o   List favorite stories from sacred texts; lives of the prophets, saints, teachers. I personally find the stories of Ayyub, the story of Job, and the story of Abraham, peace be upon them, to be very important for my own walking and to apply the lessons from their experience to my own experience. Again, your favorite stories form sacred texts or the lives of the prophets or saints.

o   List, write out, make notes regarding your favorite inspiring passages from spiritual books, videos, that relate to your spirituality and experience of spirituality.

o   Also, write out the stories of your favorite spiritual experiences, when you felt a sense of felt presence, or a sense of connection to the Divine, a sense of divine guidance or inspiration. If you write out those stories, you can pay attention to the details and immerse yourself in what you felt, and that will reintroduce those biochemicals from that experience into your system.

o   Then you’ll have those lists to refer to when you need to reorient yourself.

Let’s pause here. Take a deep breath. What stands out to you from this section on self-care for our souls?

You might want to press pause and take some time to reflect on how these ideas might apply to your life before we wrap up.

A couple more suggestions that apply to self-care in general – 

Put self-care appointments on your calendar and keep those times sacrosanct.

Also, don’t try to take on too much. A little done consistently is of much greater benefit than a lot done inconsistently. So start small and work that in until it’s habituated until you don’t notice it anymore before you start adding on and adding on.

Remember to honor your individuality. 

If body practices are your thing, bring heartfulness and remembrance to your body practices. 

If art is your thing, bring heartfulness and remembrance to your art. 

If you’re an activist, bring heartfulness and remembrance to your social justice work. 

If nature is your thing, bring heartfulness and remembrance to your time in nature.

Okay, that’s it. Now that you’ve been given you a whole lot of options, reminders, practice ideas, hopefully which inspire you to come up with your own or to modify these for what fits you or take on those that resonate with you, please note that the important part of spiritual practice is not the practice itself, it is what the practice directs you to. 

Does the practice direct you to your higher self or the ego-self? 

If you follow a theistic path, does the practice direct you to the Divine? 

Again, the practice itself is not the goal. The purpose of each practice is to direct you toward what you hold most sacred. 

It’s to help you know where you and where you’re going and orient you in that direction and move you in that direction.

Okay, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out. Please send an email to habib@habibboerger.com.

Thank you for joining me on Beyond Names.

May something you heard today help you reconnect with the love and light in your own heart.
 May you grow in compassion, clarity, and courage.
 May you find your way — again and again — back home to yourself, back home to the Divine, however you name it.
 If today’s conversation spoke to you, please, like, share, and comment on this episode, and please follow Beyond Names.

To make an appointment with me, please visit habibboerger.com

 Until next time -- May you be light, may you consciously participate in growing your light, and may you share your light.

Peace be with you.